Today i felt a “call from nature”. I decided to stop with the excuses that it is too cold (10 below zero), took my warmer clothes and shoes, ready to go out.
It’s been a long time i don’t take a walk in the forest. And even with all frozen lakes, plants, silence, because there are so few birds now, i saw a shade of beauty, of divine..
Moments like this makes me feel alive, inspired, strong, ready for fight again. Ready to handle this winter blues with a new strength..
I may not be strong enough to walk on ice right now, but i will be strong enough to defeat these winter blues symptoms ;p.. After all i have been through in my life, this is the least i expect from myself.
This is some photos i took in my morning walk here in Arvidsjaur. Hope you enjoy it as much as i do 😉
Don’t ever be afraid of a new adventure in your life,
don’t ever be afraid to show your vulnerability,
that doesn’t make you weaker
it makes you stronger
Sail away, navigator,
in your own adventure,
to discover who you really are..
Weak are the ones that don’t want to make a change in their life, although they have all the tools to do it, but they choose to ignore it. They think they are not strong. They don’t want to disappoint others, so they end up disappointing themselves, getting stuck in a life situation they keep saying they don’t deserve.
Strong are the ones who take a step up and recognizes what is wrong with themselves, search for help and keep on taking care of themselves. So they continue to grow, to move forward.
Once i was weak, but some time ago, ibecame strong. I took a step up and searched for help for my depression. Even though i don’t talk so much about it to people around me, i write and try to learn more about it, through inspiring bloggers and lecturers. Because i still feel there is a lot of lack of credibility given to people with mental issues.
Today i am even stronger. I dare to show my emotions in a healthy and respectfull way, to show who i really am. I found strategies to deal with my emotions.
I dared to sail away in the dark, into the unknown, with the light shining inside of me. I droped all my fears and worries in the wide ocean before my trip.
Where this trip will take me, it doesn’t really matter..as long as i always search for a star, the moon on the horizon and find a lighthouse, so they can show me the way..as long as i have God in my heart.
p.s. When i mention adventure, is in a metaphorical way, a journey that begins with introspection. The real adventure is to find out and learn about yourself, where you need to act, or change, in order to improve.
Om, or pronounced Aum, connects you with the primary source, the Universe in you.
I “sing” over Om when i feel disconnected.. It helps me go through stress and find balance again.
The result is that sometimes i feel so zen that i could walk in the streets spreading my joy as an innocent child. Probably some would say i look crazy or with the head in the moon, looking at the sky instead of looking at the buildings, listening to the birds instead of listening to the traffic, looking at the flowers instead of looking at the cars that drives by, don’t being afraid to sometimes smile at people that dare to look at me..
When i loose contact with myself, i want always to go back to the source, to this pure unity.
But not so often as i wished, i feel zen. Because “reality” is most of the times a pretty good check-out: throughout daily distractions/challenges from life; when i see bad news on tv, some hopeless commercials (not all!!), when i see hate and envy in humanity..
I wonder why can’t i see people more often do something kind to another on tv or other information sources, for a change? Spreading more inspiration, good values and education, love.. instead of most of the times, trying to sell happiness in unhealthy ways… showing chaos and bad news..My mood would continue “in the zone” for a longer time.
If people would also stop competing so hard with each other, for each others attention..People would be so much happier, finding out that happiness does not need to be bought all the time, to be compared.. We can buy some happy moments for a while, but the truly happiness is inside of all us, waiting for us to be open to receive it.
That seems like an ideal world, i know. A world free of chains from the past, from the future. A world focusing on love, kindness and respect. I think that if that world exists inside of me, why can’t i see it ALL around me?..Why i have to face disappointment? That leads me to nothing but sadness, actually. I can’t even be angry anymore. But i choose to not be depressed either. I feel sad and then let it go, hoping humanity will change Sometime…
You may think i am being really naive..BUT If everybody was in the same tune, as the sound of the Universe, we would all find our little paradise on earth wherever we go in this world..
Maybe some questions aren’t supposed to be answered..Maybe they are supposed to remain a mystery, hidden in the silence, hidden in the song of the universe..
Maybe someday i will talk about it in public, maybe not…I am going to follow my intuition.
I was recently this week in a conference about mental health here in Arvidsjaur.
I admired the way the lecturer was opening himself in front of others. Telling about his diagnosis and the ways he fights through it.
In is own way, being himself, fun and informative, he is encouraging people to break taboos, stigmas, focus instead on the person behind the diagnosis.
Psychological problems are growing specially in youth. In my opinion, one of the reasons is, that our society is pushing people to the limits: with high performances and expectations, comparisions, consumerism culture; exaggerated competition..Seeking for perfection instead of seeking for who we really are and appreciate what we allready have.
We are not robots, we are human beings and nobody is perfect in or out. And we don’ t need so many material things to be truly happy.
So we naturally end up failing, to reach this ideals that society builds around us. We break down, loosing ourselves, poisoning ourselves, because we think we are useless and unable to ever be good enough.
We also fall in the mistake to live as others want us to live, to please others, until we sooner or later get enough, and change direction.
Unfortunately a lot of people (as me) has to go downhill or “hit a dark wall” to start rethinking about life and redefine it..
And unfortunatly, more and more, are going the same way..if our society doesn’t stop this trend.
I was quiet and thoughtful the whole conference. When i came home, i felt like i also should have shared my experience, such as a few other brave people did.
I know i have so much to give, to share, since i think i came a long way now. So i regret i didn’t speak my mind..
Maybe it wasn’t meant to be that day. I wasn’t ready. I was only there to listen, to reflect..to be inspired.
Keep on fighting, spreading your wisdom, light and love, struggle by struggle,
Keep on going, developing through your challenges, step by step,
Keep on breathing, you are getting there, breath by breath..
“She challenged me to walk hand in hand upon the mirrored lake. At first i felt really scared but later i began to feel safe and adventurous at the same time. I had never experienced anything like that in my life. For a single moment I forgot the future, I could only see her happy face..
The midnight sun was reflecting in the mirrored lake in front of our images. On the oposite side it was reflecting the full moon.
As soon as her spell began to fade, we rushed towards the canoe with adrenaline rush and laughing out loud. We enjoyed the sun setting and rising almost immediately, giving wings to a new day.
A promising new day that began with a mystical sunset in the middle of the night”…
Winter is already coming to Northern Sweden. Snow is falling, northern lights are shining shy outside the window. I feel blessed with such a beautiful season coming, despite the shock i got with the cold weather, when i recently came back from vacations in my hometown. I didn’t even had time to fully enjoy autumn! It went so fast!..
I see now Winter as a time to rest more, reflect, save energies we got from brighter seasons that passed. Time to wait patiently, maybe plan, enjoy warm coups of tea or hot chocolate while snow falls slowly and magically outside.
It’s a time going towards darkness outside, but this time i will try to keep the light inside me, warm and bright. In this winter i want to see the stars shine brighter. That will bring me hope and joy to my soul.
Enjoy this poem i wrote last winter:
You’ll find me
Where the lights are shining low
in the darkness feels so cold
where the lakes are laying frozen
you’ll find me
where the snow is falling slow
in the white silence i pray
where tomorrow seems so distant
you’ll find me
I tried so hard to make summer stay
but he decided to go away
and then when i found some comfort in the autumns leaves
they went away even faster
and all that is left is the memories
all that is left
is winter time to come
Where the sun shines humbly
in my dreams it’s light fills me
where there are diamonds in the snow
you’ll find me
where the northern lights are dancing free
Winter, you found me
Thank you for reading, and let your inner star shine even brighter this winter. <3.
People travel all around the world, for several reasons.
Some to search for better life conditions and later settling; others to run away from war, conflicts, persecution; others only for the pleasure of vacations; to find new challenges, inspiration or learn about other cultures.
It’s sad that some countries choose to close not only physical but also emotional borders. For selfishness, greed, power and other reasons we can’t understand.
We all have the right to move wherever we want in the world, there it feels safe. We have also to be kind and welcome foreign people that accepts and respects our own culture.
People all around the world have different religion. Some share similar values, traditions and lifestyle. Yet, there is a lot of hostility and conflicts.
When i grew up i thought that i had to follow my parents steps, such as their religion. But i didn’t. I found my own way of connecting to this big entity we know that exists and that we call God.
I got interested in hinduism and buddhism learnings. I began to practice buddhism learnings as much as i am able too, without choosing to convert into a nun 😊. That is one of the reasons why i can’t say that i am a buddhist 100%.
What i am a is citizen of the world, a universal soul, with LOVE as my “religion” and Nature as my “church”.
When people ask me where do i come from, i usually say, i come from Portugal. I don’t say i grew up in the suburbs. Not that i want to hide my past or to forget about it. It’s because it’s to sensitive for me to go back there again. To a time where i felt so much insecurity and fears.
Was also a time that i developed big friendship and connection with some people. Not only sad moments are left behind, also some happy moments and experiences of Love and Strength.
But growing up in that environment left it’s deep marks on me. Marks that i am still fighting to let go. Life there wasn’t easy. I grew up with unsafety, poverty, preconception, discrimination and social exclusion..
While growing up, i did not understand why some people didn’t accept or believe in me. Looked down on me as if i was less worthy. Why they categorized me because of the color of my skin or from where i came from.
I didn’t choose where to be born or to have a certain color in my skin when i came into this world. But i could choose where i wanted to go ahead, and who i wanted to become..
I had allways been a shy litle girl, but i had also a very funny and social side if i was in the mood. That maybe is what made my path back then. Despite all that negativity, i had often a humble smile in my face and a hope that everything would be allright in the end. No matter how long it took..
I left behind all the shadows from my past, and today fully enjoy my skin color and even my natural afro hair, the more self confident i get, the more i grow and accept myself as i really am..I have dark brown skin and i am proud. I am beautiful as i am, both inside and outside.
Even when i sometimes feel the wings of racism trying to embrace me again, i set free without grudge. I stay calm, positive and think that WE ARE ALL THE SAME, EQUALLY VALUABLE.
The real question is which color is our souls? How do we treat people around us? Are we bright or darkon the inside?
All i wanted while growing up was to go towards a brighter and more colorful life. Now all i want is my soul to be beyond the colors of a rainbow. ❤