Which color is your soul?

assorted color sequins
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When people ask me where do i come from, i usually say, i come from Portugal. I don’t say i grew up in the suburbs. Not that i want to hide my past or to forget about it. It’s because it’s to sensitive for me to go back there again. To a time where i felt so much insecurity and fears.

Was also a time that i developed big friendship and connection with some people. Not only sad moments are left behind, also some happy moments and experiences of Love and Strength.

But growing up in that environment left it’s deep marks on me. Marks that i am still fighting to let go. Life there wasn’t easy. I grew up with unsafety, poverty, preconception, discrimination and social exclusion..

While growing up, i did not understand why some people didn’t accept or believe in me. Looked down on me as if i was less worthy. Why they categorized me because of the color of my skin or from where i came from.

I didn’t choose where to be born or to have a certain color in my skin when i came into this world. But i could choose where i wanted to go ahead, and who i wanted to become..

I had allways been a shy litle girl, but i had also a very funny and social side if i was in the mood. That maybe is what made my path back then. Despite all that negativity, i had often a humble smile in my face and a hope that everything would be allright in the end. No matter how long it took..

I left behind all the shadows from my past, and today fully enjoy my skin color and even my natural afro hair, the more self confident i get, the more i grow and accept myself as i really am..I have dark brown skin and i am proud. I am beautiful as i am, both inside and outside.

Even when i sometimes feel the wings of racism trying to embrace me again, i set free without grudge. I stay calm, positive and think that WE ARE ALL THE SAME, EQUALLY VALUABLE.

The real question is which color is our souls? How do we treat people around us? Are we bright or dark on the inside?

All i wanted while growing up was to go towards a brighter and more colorful life. Now all i want is my soul to go beyond the colors of the rainbow.

Arvidsjaur, 2018, by Marlene Lima

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